Dominatrix Mommy Blogger and Women’s Sexual Wellness Consultant
Milk Makers and Money Shakers: Madison Young (part 2)
In case you haven’t all ready, read the first part of Madison Young’s interview here.
Demystifying the Sex Worker Mommy
Madison Young, Sex Worker:
What is your favorite sex toy? Well that depends on who I’m playing with and the situation. I love my hitatchi magic wand but since the baby I’ve actually really enjoyed my vibratex acuvibe which is a similar vibrator but battery powered and waterproof so it can be used while I’m taking a nice hot relaxing bath. I have a lot less private time to play with sex toys these days so the acuvibe really fits into my busy schedule as a working mom. I also love my enjoy pure wand and the njoy butt plugs. They are made of stainless steel and have the perfect curves to reach your g-spot. Vixskin has some excellent dildos that are a very life like texture perfect for penetration and faux jobs. I love canes and whips but its a rarity these days that we have time or space to play with these impliments. However hands are a “handy” and versatile bdsm implement that fits into our new lives of balancing a sex life and parenthood.
What is your sex advice to other moms? Try to fit in love,touch, and affection into every day to keep the intimacy between you and your partner. If you are too exhausted for sex after getting the little one to bed then give each other foot rubs or massage. Bathe your lover or shower together. If your partner didn’t feel up for sex before the shower they might during or after. Also sex isn’t the end all and be all. Kissing your lover and running your hands over their body with a nice massage or bath can be just as intimate or more so than a quickie. If you have dinner together after the little one is tucked in, then make dinner romantic or kinky. One of you can eat dinner under the table, pleasuring your partner before your entree. Also date nights are so important. I like to find restaurants with table cloths or bathrooms that lock for semi-public pleasuring.
If you are feeling a little self conscious about your new post-partum mommy body go shopping for some new lingerie that works with your new curves. Retro-girdles, corsets, garter belts,stockings and heels to elongate your legs, cinch in or offer a sexy flattering angle to your transforming body. As a woman who before pregnancy was an A cup and now Im a C , I’m really enjoying my new asset of cleavage and breasts to showcase in a push up bra.
How has being a sex worker changed your view of other women? In general I think that women aren’t encouraged growing up to explore their sexuality in a healthy way. We aren’t educated about sexuality and we are not told that it is normal for women to seek sexual pleasure. Although teenage boys are expected to start masturbating in puberty, girls are not. Boys are expected to seek out dad’s PlayBoy magazines, girls are not. Girls who do seek out sexual pleasure typically experience a negative reputation. The result from what I’ve found is a lot of women(outside of the sex industry) who either don’t know how to express their sexual desires, are embarrassed to verbalize their sexual desires, or haven’t even open themselves up to what sexual possibilities exist so they don’t have the visual, experiential or verbal vocabulary to communicate their needs, fantasies or desires. As a sex worker we are surrounded by sex, sexual dynamics, sexual communication, constant sexual negotiation, sexual techniques, and are privy to the sexual fantasies of lots of different people. This allows us to communicate about sex in a much more open way, we are able to communicate our needs and empowered to seek what fulfills us on many levels including sexually. I think that being a sex worker has changed my view of other women by realizing that women inherently don’t have the same vocabulary around sexuality as I do as a sex worker. This is just motivation for me to continuing writing, talking and educating around sex.
Madison Young: A Mother and a Sex Worker
Do you feel being a sex worker has been beneficial to your being a mother? What about the other way around? Ways that sex work has been beneficial to me being a mother:
In being a sex worker you get used to cleaning up bodily fluids. Spit, cum, ejaculate, enema water,and even sometimes poo. So its not a huge adjustment in motherhood when you find yourself being surrounded by and cleaning up poo, pee, spit up, etc.
Also me and my partners jobs in the adult industry have alotted us the freedom to create a flexible schedule and spend more time with our daughter.
Being a mom has informed my sex worker life by giving me a new body to accept and love both off camera and in front of the camera. Its allowed me to connect with other moms in the sex industry. Its allowed me to create necessary personal time which feeds my soul and results in stronger more powerful performances at work.
Do you have regrets about being a sex worker mom? Do they outweigh the benefits? I don’t have any regrets but I do have fears. I don’t want for my child to experience ridicule or be shamed in any way for the work that I do. I’m trying to instill early on in her life that difference is ok and that we are all different and should be honest, open, and able to express ourselves for who we are. I’m going to do the absolute best that I can to protect her but I don’t want for us to have to hide. We are strong and proud and doing important brave work in the world and hiding only perpetuates more fear and shame.
Being a sex worker made me the woman that I am today. Its how I met my daughter’s father, its what brought my daughter into my life – in a roundabout kind of way. I don’t regret the work that I have done or that I will do in the future. I hope to instill in my daughter good communication skills, self-confidence, a sense of adventure and permission to explore her world through self expression which are all skills that I developed in my career path.
Sex Work and Mom’s collide! Any interesting or funny stories? Do share! Well it is pretty comical to see me pumping breast milk in between photo sets and video shoots while I’m on location. The last all day shoot that I did, I needed a courier to run between the location and my home with freshly pumped breast milk for my daughter.
Milk Makers and Money Shakers is an ongoing series of interviews of sex worker mothers. If you are a sex worker momma, please contact me to be interviewed. You can be anonymous as long as I verify who you are.