Babysitters Apparently Hate Me

Categories:Random Fluffy Bits

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When I was 12, I babysat the neighbor toddler twins. They paid me a buck an hour and all the tv I could watch which was HUGE, because I wasn’t allowed to watch tv at home. They would be out until the middle of the night and I just stayed over and head home in the morning. And while I know that was just about a million years ago, but to put things in perspective, I was paid about a third of what the current minimum wage was.

OMFG am I jealous of them now.

I can’t seem to find a date night babysitter for less then $15 and hour. When I eye ball the local 12 year olds, I’m told that I’m risking certain death and home invasion because apparently, while kids these days get way more sex and violence then ever before, they are no longer able to feed a three year old pizza and put him to bed two hours passed his bedtime.

Seriously. I’m not looking for Kari from The Incredibles with flash cards and educational games. I’m looking for someone to call the fire department when the house starts on fire. Or their parents three doors down when there is a problem operating the remote control.

I know I’m taking a rather simplistic view.

The date night babysitters I’ve found have been $15 an hour (we live over an hour from the city so that’s $45 to get there and back. They want us to be home by midnight. That means leaving concerts half way through the main act. They feed him, put him in his Jammie’s, read him a book, then spend the rest of the time loving on my adorable dog and watching TV.

I just paid $100 bucks to see half a concert, plus whatever I paid for the tickets.

And thats if they show up, because seriously, I seemed to have a talent for finding the babysitters who get the stomach flu all. The Fucking. Time.

Ironically, I have three different drop in day time sitters that change between $5 and $10 an hour and ARE like Kari teaching him songs in Spanish, the alphabet and how to tuck his pants into rain boots so he can show them off to their full pink polka dotted splendor. They are my life lines and I would do anything for them.

I know there are college students out there that would kill for a job that paid $15 an hour and was mainly studying and petting and adorable dog and aren’t doing… what ever it is that gave my last two the stomach flu so often. And surely they can stay up passed midnight.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY?

This post brought to you by the girl who sat home and had popcorn and bourbon last night while the Mr went to see a hot girl singer.

Author: Mona Darling
Mona Darling spent close to twenty years as an A-list professional dominatrix before becoming a D-list mommy blogger. After spending many years traveling the world being told that she is fabulous, she now spends her days being told she doesn’t drive fast enough by her five-year-old son. She is also a sex positive life coach and enjoys helping people live a full and happy life embracing all their quirks and fetishes. She also helps couples strengthen their relationships by learning about and understand each others quirks and fetishes.

2 Comments

  1. kimberleyap
    kimberleyapReply
    November 2, 2012 at 11:35 am

    Oh NO!!  First off, what hot girl singer.  Secondly, our babysitter is usually the twins godmother or their old nanny (who we pay $10/hour, and feed).  If they can’t watch them we generally can’t go.  We plan things months and months and months in advance for this reason.  Or we split up on stuff and go with friends, which sucks if it’s something we both want to see.
     
    I’m sorry :(

  2. Cristy
    November 2, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    $15/hr?!?!?! Dear FSM, that’s more than I make an hour! 
     
    My suggestion: contact the local college sorority. Seriously, so of those girls want to be teachers, meaning they will possess Kari-qualities. Add in the fact that they are older (meaning can stay up past midnight, etc), and you’re golden.
     
    Good luck! Finding a good babysitter is hard and many tend to horde them like trade-secrets.

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