These Balls Are Too Big

Big Uncomfortable Bouncy Balls.

Big Uncomfortable Bouncy Balls.

This is a review of a toy I purchased years ago.

Some time ago I promised a series of Momgina sex toy reviews. Then ALL THE THINGS HAPPENED and I wrote half of them and didn’t post any over them. SO without further ado, in which I could get distracted by something shiny, or someone wrecking havok, may I present the first review.

Every women who’s read Fifty Shades of Grey has at least though, long and hard about ordering a pair of ben wa balls to see if it would indeed make her inner goddess do back flips.
Ben wa balls can also be used to exercise and tighten the vag which gives you stronger orgasms, so, realistically, we are all thinking WHY AM I NOT WEARING THESE RIGHT NOW?
Long before Fifty Shades of Grey came out and made sticking marbles up your peekachu an international pastime, I bought a pair  or three and  I’m here to tell you, they are NOT all the same, and realistically, none of them make my inner goddess do backflips. But one of them gives her the strength to do them should she want to.
The first ones I tried where the Smart Balls. These are actually considered Duotone Balls which are simply larger and meant more for exercise and less for fun. Turns out they failed on both counts. Looking at them in the box I was pretty stoked. They also fit in my tight college kid budget. I could barely wait to get home and try my new favorite hobby, vacuuming with ben wa balls in. Vacuuming previously being a task that had only performed under duress. And not the good kind.
Now it was being performed with something threatening to dive out on the floor in front of a shocked roommate, which made my inner goddess want to do something, but it wasn’t backflips. They felt too big and light to exercise with and didn’t have enough jiggle to be fun.
I’m not even sure how nor why I still own these. I guess I figured that eventually I would figure out how to use them? Or perhaps I need a new use for them. Dog toy?
I tried them again after I had Monkey with the same results. Vajayjays are quite individual so you may have very different results. I would be interested to hear from someone who did like this brand.
Author: Mona Darling
Mona Darling spent close to twenty years as an A-list professional dominatrix before becoming a D-list mommy blogger. After spending many years traveling the world being told that she is fabulous, she now spends her days being told she doesn’t drive fast enough by her five-year-old son. She is also a sex positive life coach and enjoys helping people live a full and happy life embracing all their quirks and fetishes. She also helps couples strengthen their relationships by learning about and understand each others quirks and fetishes.


  1. nikkiana
    June 19, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    I didn’t have a great experience with the Smart Balls either. I found them to be too big, and I found a crack in the silicone on the pair I had a couple of days after I had them. However,  I did like Lelo Luna Beads, which come with two sets of balls and a holder, super easy to clean…  and also the Je Joue Ami balls, which has a set of three different ball types.

    • DeadCowGirl
      June 21, 2013 at 8:50 pm

      nikkiana I love my Luna Beads. They are the next to be reviewed. :-) I’ve not tried the Ami balls yet. Are they worth trying in addition to the Luna Beads?

  2. July 9, 2013 at 7:55 am

    [...] The Smartballs. Pretty standard and fairly cheap. These are what most people thing of when they think of vaginal exercisers. (reviewed here) [...]

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