Pre BlogHer13 Wrap-up

Mona Darling
If you see me - come say hi!

If you see me – come say hi!

BlogHer starts in one week and everyone is in a full tilt lather about private parties and swag. It’s all about which private parties people are being invited to and which have the best swag. I feel for the newbies and bloggers who aren’t “big name” enough to be invited.

Disclaimer: I’m not cool enough to be invited to these private parties. Maybe they are full of unicorns barfing rainbows into glitter covered swag bags help by a half dressed Bradley Cooper. Perhaps I’m really missing out.

But even so, I’m pretty sure none of that unicorn barfed up swag is as amazing as the swag I’ve gotten at the last two BlogHers. That would be the friendships I’ve made. Not to sound all hippie and shit, but seriously. My friendships with women like ….

Aw crap. I started to write out all their names and then got paralyzed with fear that I would forget someone. Ladies! You know who you are! I will send out a special shout out to Queerie Bradshaw and Heckerty, who are going to be my roommates this year. And of course Liz Porter who I will be flying with (and entertaining EVERYONE on our 6am flight whether they want to be entertained or not) and Life With Roozle who I will be watching speak as a Voice of the Year, and the lovely Dresden Plaid who’s blog was one of the very, very first infertility blogs I followed for YEARS before I met her and now? We actually text each other like real friends! And not to mention all of the amazing women who work at BlogHer that I adore… dammit. Now I’m paralyzed with fear that I forgot someone important. Fuck it. You are ALL important.

Let’s just leave it at; I’ve met lots of fabulous women who I would never had the chance to meet if it were not for BlogHer.

So, while I’m happy for the people who are excited for their private parties and premium special unicorn barf swag bags that may, or may not have brushed against Bradley Coopers junk, no swag in the world will replace being able to txt a girlfriend in the middle of the night and receiving supportive txts right back. Having a place to crash in all those cities from which they hail is way better then a free blender. And no amount of free make-up will replace the hugs I’m able to get in person to go alone with all the cyber support they have given.

I’m not saying you can’t go to the private parties and get all the swag and still have these connections, I’m just saying, private parties and swag are not my top priorities. And it’s OK if they aren’t yours too. BlogHer hosts some kick ass parties where eveyone is welcome.

If you want a smaller gathering, organize a meet-up  for like minded people. Post to twitter with the hashtag #BlogHer13, even (and sometimes especially) last minute and ask if anyone wants to get together for some quiet time and talk about something that you are passionate about. I promise you, that is how you will get the best, most memorable, longest lasting swag.

Disclaimer number two: If anyone can’t fit their rainbow barfing unicorn in their bag on the way home, let me know.

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Mona Darling spent close to twenty years as an A-list professional dominatrix before becoming a D-list mommy blogger. After spending many years traveling the world being told that she is fabulous, she now spends her days being told she doesn’t drive fast enough by her five-year-old son. She is also a sex positive life coach and enjoys helping people live a full and happy life embracing all their quirks and fetishes. She also helps couples strengthen their relationships by learning about and understand each others quirks and fetishes.


  1. Lisa Stone
    July 23, 2013 at 9:12 am

    Oh Mona, you rock: “If you want a smaller gathering, organize a meet-up  for like minded people. Post to twitter with the hashtag #BlogHer13, even (and sometimes especially) last minute and ask if anyone wants to get together for some quiet time and talk about something that you are passionate about.”

  2. Justanothermom
    July 17, 2013 at 6:14 pm

    EXACTLY. Exactly this. There are too many people attending for most people to be invited to the private parties. I want to be where the action is, to be honest.

    • DeadCowGirl
      July 19, 2013 at 9:14 am

      Justanothermom I want to make the action. Perhaps we should hang out. 😉

      • Justanothermom
        July 19, 2013 at 1:52 pm

        DeadCowGirl Justanothermom I’ll be around! I’m working the front door at the first half of the Open Mic night. 🙂

  3. Shannon
    July 17, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    This will be my first BlogHer and this post is exactly what I needed to read. I’m so glad Melisa shared it.

    • DeadCowGirl
      July 17, 2013 at 2:44 pm

      @Shannon I’m so glad it helped! Nothing against the private parties, but there is so much going on at BlogHer, and I remember feeling so sad that I wasn’t getting any invites, until I realized, the friends were the best swag. 
      Also. There will be plenty of swag, and a swag exchange room. You will not go home without swag. I promise!

  4. MomoFali
    July 17, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    I love it. I love you. I can’t wait to see you again!

    • DeadCowGirl
      July 17, 2013 at 2:42 pm

      MomoFali Mwah Mwah Mwah! I’ll see you soon!!

  5. MelisaWells
    July 17, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    Mona, I am so happy that Momo introduced us at BlogHer Food! 🙂
    I just sent this link on to the BlogHer team and told them that this might be my favorite post about the conference I’ve read so far this year, and it’s MY JOB to read them all. 🙂
    I’ll see you next week!!

    • DeadCowGirl
      July 17, 2013 at 2:42 pm

      MelisaWells Thank you for stopping by and thanks for sharing! See you next week!!

  6. Debi TruthfulMommy
    July 17, 2013 at 3:37 am

    I love this post. This will be my first BlogHer but I’ve been blogging for  4 years and I feel like I “know” everyone but I have only had the pleasure of hugging a handful of necks at Bloggy Boot Camp a couple years ago. I can’t wait to hug people. Of course, I had no idea how this all works. I got invites. I enthusiastically accepted but now I am having to cut things out because my priority is people connections; meeting all the amazing women who have gotten me through the last 4 years of motherhood. See you there!

    • DeadCowGirl
      July 17, 2013 at 2:40 pm

      Debi TruthfulMommy Truthfully, I was invited to a couple things last year that either conflicted with things I already had planned, and one that I just simply didn’t make it to. It’s really hard to say leave a great situation with fun people to go stand in line for swag. 
      I think playing it by ear and being ready to say yes to anything, especially those things/ people you wouldn’t have a chance to do/ connect with at home is the best plan.

  7. aerynlynne
    July 16, 2013 at 4:26 pm

    *cough* If Bradley Cooper + glitter is involved, I’m crashing that party, just saying. XD

    • DeadCowGirl
      July 17, 2013 at 2:37 pm

      aerynlynne Yeah, ok, me too. 😉

  8. Deb Rox
    July 16, 2013 at 12:17 pm

    Queerosphere, Friday night. As if private parties can compete with the people who go to that. See you soon!

    • DeadCowGirl
      July 17, 2013 at 2:36 pm

      Deb Rox That was hands down my favorite party last year. It was beautiful and fun and quiet enough for people to talk and network. I simply can’t wait to see what you have in store for us this year!

  9. stacyjill
    July 16, 2013 at 11:15 am

    Girl… you said it! I think my one of my all-time favorite parts of last year was our Saturday night wacky GIF making/ falafel eating til 4 in the morning small party of 6:) Can’t wait to see you!

    • DeadCowGirl
      July 17, 2013 at 2:35 pm

      stacyjill YES! What happened to those gifs?? I was never able to find them. I was beginning to wonder if I drunk dreamed it. Then I realized I hadn’t slept.

      • stacyjill
        July 17, 2013 at 3:37 pm

        DeadCowGirl stacyjill Hmmm.. I think Anna has them somewhere! They were SOOOOO funny 🙂

        • DeadCowGirl
          July 19, 2013 at 9:15 am

          stacyjill At least they were when we were drunk… heh.

  10. Casey
    July 16, 2013 at 10:35 am

    I can’t wait to see you! We need to do speed dating standing next to each other again. That ruled. Thanks for the shout out! I’ll give you all my swag unicorns, because you KNOW how much I LOVE the swag.

    • DeadCowGirl
      July 16, 2013 at 10:43 am

      @Casey That was BRILLIANT. Someone needed to film that. Seriously. And I’m less and less swag oriented, but I will cut a bitch for a rainbow barfing unicorn. So can’t wait to see you!!! And watch out. Maybe next time I will call on purpose.

      • stacyjill
        July 17, 2013 at 3:44 pm

        [email protected]….   ha ha ha

        • DeadCowGirl
          July 19, 2013 at 9:20 am

          stacyjill This is now my desktop image.

        • stacyjill
          July 19, 2013 at 9:28 am

          DeadCowGirl stacyjill YES! 🙂