Down for the count

Not one baby, but two.

I guess I should have been more specific when I declared 2012 the year of the baby. Every time I go up to The Hills to visit my family, I side-eye all the Walmart shopping, GMO and McDonalds eating, Obama hating, never leaving the country because Amerika ROXs! white trash. But this trip? I realized…

Hey Dummy!

Bloody Christmas Sweaters

I just don’t get people who don’t take care of themselves. I don’t mean those of us who need to eat less, or exercise more, or perhaps cut back on the yummy cocktails. I’m talking about people who are just plain self destructive. I think we were all a little self destructive when we are…

Tell Teens the truth. This could be them at 43.

I’m The Poster Child For Teen Sex

When you find your teenager is having sex and you’re all hyperventilating and  freaking out and telling them that they could have a screaming pooping baby or a fun STD, step back for a moment, take a deep breath and calmly tell them the real truth. The real scary thing about teen sex. Terrifying even….

I feel like I'm forgetting something

I will not forget my house key..

I was the oldest of three latchkey kids so it was my responsibility to remember the key. It was on a long chain that I was supposed to wear under my shirt. When I forgot the key, the three of us where locked out of the house until our parents came home about dinner time….