Giving a spanking seems like the simplest of kinks, but it is deceptively complicated. There are, however, three steps to making it easier to figure out how to zero in on your partners spanking needs.

What do you think of when you think of when you think of spanking?

Rosy red cheeks? Red handprints on white flesh? A lightly warmed bottom?

A naughty school girl role-play? Boss/secretary? Evil Auntie? Corporal punishment at a conservative private school?  Daddy? Babysitter? 

A single wicked slap and an evil giggle?

A long, sensual over the knee spanking ending in cuddling and fairly vanilla sex?

A long intense spanking leaving you too bruised, mentally and physically to have sex?

Do you feel the spanking is warm up for something bigger? Or that the spanking is to end goal?

Should their be tears? Giggles? Orgasms?

As with all things kink, focus on emotional needs first to work towards the most fulfilling and memorable scenes. After you set the emotional stage, move on to the physical desires.

Should you give a long slow warm up spanking. Just hands? Should you also use paddles? On a scale from 1-10, with 1 being none, and 10 being the most you could possible take, what is your pain goal?

Then – spank them!

To review: the three steps to giving an amazing spanking are as follows:

  1. Find out how your partner wants to feel emotionally.
  2. Find out how your partner wants to feel physically.
  3. Commence spanking!

A few additional tips:

  • Always play with a safe-word so the spankee can let their spanker know if things get too intense.
  • Remove any rings.
  • Aim for the fullest part of the bottom.
  • Don’t hit the lower back where you could injure the spine or kidneys.
  • Stay away from the crease where the buttocks meet the thighs if you want to keep things soft and fuzzy.
  • Aim for the crease where the buttocks meets the thighs if you would like to make things more memorable. That is the area that has the most friction when walking and will leave them wincing the next day.
  • The thicker the flesh padding is between their hip bones and your hand or paddle, the less it will hurt. Adjusting their position can intensify the spanking. Laying across your lap with their legs straight out behind them – more padding. Make them bend over and grab their ankles – less padding.
  • Start slow and build up until their buttocks are warm and pink. Plan on taking your time, no less then 5 minutes to reach that point.
  • A butt plug can be a fun addition.
  • A vibrator can be another fun addition.
  • Try to create different sensations with your hands by cupping or straightening your fingers.
  • Mix it up by hitting with the front of your hand, and occasionally the back of your hand.
  • Try light snappy slaps with your finger tips, mixed with heavy handed slaps with your whole hand.
  • Mix the action up with pulling your hand away immediately sometimes, or leaving it to feel the warmth other times.
  • Play with ice cubes, which can make the ass wet and intensify the sensations.
  • Slide the ice cube into the anus or pussy when you are done with it – just make sure you melt the sharp edges off first.
  • Grab their buttocks and massage them. Pull them apart and blow on your spankee’s most intimate places.
  • Use an arnica cream to help heal any marks or bruises if you want them to clear up quickly.
  • Don’t skimp on after care. After care, cuddling, talking, a warm bath, or whatever helps return all involved parties (especially the spankee) return to their status quo.


Kinky Sex Tips Blogfest

Kinky Sex Tips Blogfest

This post is part of the Kinky Sex Tips Blogfest ’17! If you would like to read more kinky sex tips, and enter to win an amazing prize package, check it out! I have offered up a Kinky Kare Package, complete with a few of my favorite jewelry items from Unbound.


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