Last night I did my first, of what I hope will be many, Weird Dungeon Adventures (now known as Kinky Conversations With Mistress Mona) for O.School. I meant to take a selfie to post with this recap, but I also hoped to start getting ready 30 minutes before I was supposed to go on. Not 3. So goes it. Instead, I am using an old image of me as a baby domme. Lookie how young I was!

The topic last night was playing with food. I began by telling the story of the first time I had someone bring food to their appointment with me. It was a regular humiliation client and he brought… a watermelon. He wanted to be forced to make sweet, sweet love to it in front of myself and my friends.

I cut a hole in it and I urinated into the hole. I called my friends in to see if they also wanted to pee into my watermelon. I was a casual smoker back then, so I lit a cigarette, and told my friends about how I had caught my “boyfriend” cheating on me.

Every once in a while, to punctuate a point, and draw attention to my “boyfriends” future “girlfriend,”  I would use the watermelon as an ashtray.

I spent several minutes detailing the reasons why I shouldn’t take him back.

  • Cheater
  • Small cock
  • Horrible lover

But then I announced, there was one great reason to keep him. I would be in total control of the relationship going forward. I would cheat, with real men, great lovers with real cocks and he better not say a word – other then thank you so very much for not leaving me. I would be able to make him do anything.

For example” I said, “I bet you he would fuck this watermelon if it meant me not kicking his ass to the curb.

And he did. He pleaded not to be made to do it, or perhaps if he was going to be made to do it, could he at least do it in private?

Nope. Show us your best moves. 

I knew he could beg and plead as much as he wanted to, because we had negotiated a safeword which he could of used at any time, if he wasn’t having such as great time groveling.

What did we negotiate?

  • Watermelon fucking
  • Public humiliation
  • Golden showers, including in the mouth
  • Smoking fetish
  • Bad boyfriend roleplay
  • 400 other things that I don’t remember because I didn’t incorporate them into the session

That’s the joy of negotiation. He brought the watermelon. He knew that portion was going to happen. But he had no idea what else I was going to incorporate. During negotiation, instead of spelling out, step by step, what I was going to do, we created an arena in which we would play.

In the end, as the grand finale (God no, his orgasm wasn’t the finale!) I had him slice up the watermelon and eat it while we shrieked, giggled and gagged.

It’s hard to follow a story like that, but I managed. I talked about using the oil from jalapeños and ginger for sensation play. Extremely detailed fetishes, like wearing white nylons and stepping on bright red maraschino cherries. But we also ventured off into other territory – like the privilege to be able to indulge in BDSM and kink.

Next week I will be talking about sexual role-play. Join me? Monday, December 4th from 4-6pm PST. Sign up for my mailing list and I’ll email a reminder that morning! (Moving to 6-8pm after January 1st)


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